The Unpolished Boyfriend
Author: Grace Puskas
A karmic relationship is something we’re all bound to encounter, as we all have a light and dark side.
The karmic relationship appeals to our dark side, due to being very exciting, chaotic and full of passion and sexual attraction.
A Karmic relationship, although toxic at times, does serve a purpose: to inspire us to grow beyond our base levels of lust and desire.
They give us the chance to integrate the dark and light sides and move beyond just immediate gratification to spiritual enlightenment.
We have both light and dark aspects of our souls, and enlightenment or spiritual self-mastery doesn’t happen overnight.
Because of that, your karmic relationship will demand you to grow (and you will have to choose whether to grow or stay stagnant).
There are some key signs you can watch out for to ascertain that you are in a karmic relationship, or have met your karmic soulmate.
Let’s get into them!
Firstly, a karmic relationship is defined by feeling both love and dislike. Hate is a strong word, but you will probably loathe your karmic partners at times too.
You know this is true because this doesn’t happen in twin flame relationships, or higher soulmate love bonds.
In karmic relationships, sometimes you will despise them and other times adore them. Like a yo-yo effect, or the flow of yin and yang, these two polar opposite forces flow into one another.
It is seldom smooth sailing. Arguments, disagreements, confusion and conflict are inherent to a karmic soulmate bond. Yes, there are some amazing times, but it’s not constant.
This is the key sign to be aware of: you don’t live in divine flow and harmony. There is discord, tension, and some really low times.
This makes developing a genuine emotional commitment to each other difficult. Even if you think you’re committed to your partner, there’s a good chance they’re not truly emotionally committed to you.
Further to that, it’s possible to find out just how committed your man could be to you. Find out with our quiz: QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
Past life memories are common in karmic relationships. You feel a deep bond and resonance to the point of believing you have shared at least one past life together.
How would you know for sure?
It’s a deep inner knowing that goes beyond just familiarity: it’s like deja vu, but deeper than that too.
You’ll feel a strong recognition of your partner, an awareness that you’ve met them before this life and you’ve known them deeply.
Past life connections can be blissful or tricky. They’re infused with intensity, often passion (if romantic/sexual), and an unexplainable feeling of being soul-bonded.
Your souls have known each other throughout time and space…
This can manifest in your current karmic relationship in a number of ways.
You may go from intense highs to intense lows, and vice versa. You may feel that you are destined to be married, or only stay in each other’s lives for a short period of time.
It is a complex connection that can be quite extreme, i.e. alternating between extreme emotions and sensations.
The key recurring factor is that you always sense you have a past life connection.
Visiting a past life therapist or receiving spiritual or shamanic healing together can confirm this.
Unfortunately, a karmic relationship always has some aspect of jealousy and possessiveness inherent. Mind games too.
This is because the connection is so intense, and there’s so much passion!
But you know instinctively you are not meant to be together forever- it’s just a cycle, a chapter in both of your lives for the purpose of growth…
Due to this inner knowing, it creates an insecurity in the relationship that is palpable, even if you’re a secure person otherwise.
You or your partner can become very jealous. Specifically, you may become possessive over the partnership, or give into mind games, manipulation, and other semi-psychotic acts.
Think “young boy” or “young girl” clinging on for their life.
Ok, the lovers in question may not actually be young, but the type of behaviors displayed can be better understood through picturing someone young and crazy in love.
Overall, even the most securely attached people (people who have a secure attachment style) can become momentarily insecure, possessive and jealous in a karmic relationship.
Of course, a securely attached person will fare better in a karmic relationship, and be much more likely to be able to evolve and grow, according to the actual purpose in the relationship.
It’s important for your growth, then, to find out what your core attachment style (attachment pattern) is:
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
Unresolved trauma and unhealed wounds form the basis of this love bond. This is why karmic relationships are sometimes referred to as “trauma bonding.”
It’s an unhealthy attachment with codependency, toxic behaviors (like clinginess, possessiveness, etc.) and perhaps even competition or a strong desire to win.
If other parties are involved, for instance, if one partner has other potential soulmates on the cards- maybe even a higher love soulmate or twin flame patiently waiting, the karmic lover will stop at nothing to win.
Competition, lust, a childish need to own and be number one; even when they know it’s not healthy or not working, and doing everything within their power to keep hold of the relationship, will define this bond.
Overall there are a lot of toxic traits and much healing needing to be done. One or more partners in a karmic relationship aren’t generally willing to “do the inner work,” explore their wounds, and heal for good.
Why? Because they know it could lead to the end of the karmic bond.
Case study: From icebreaker to engagement in just 8 months… Discover the exact steps Yana took and the specific banter lines she used in order to attract the man of her life online and inspired him to propose after a short 8 months. (And then married within another 2 months…)
Selfish tendencies and a lack of real empathy and compassion for their partner rule in a karmic relationship.
This is one of those slightly (or very!) narcissistic relationships.
Self-centeredness and selfish desires outweigh a genuine care for their partner’s well-being.
Here’s an interesting truth: true love sets you free.
But in a karmic relationship, neither partner wants to set their partner free so that they can find their true love and unite in bliss!
Again, narcissism is inherent and selfishness replaces universal love and unconditional compassion as the norm.
If one cannot offer compassion, love and empathy, then the karmic relationship is destined to be a low value relationship in the long term.
This is even if the relationship can provide great value in the short term to both partners, due to the passion and excitement involved.
When both partners cannot or will not evolve and do the work, this leads to both individuals being stuck in a lower vibration, or some may call it a “low value” state.
This makes them both less able to move forward and find their higher soul mate or twin flame to be with and add value to.
There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
You can always tell a karmic relationship or even a karmic soul by watching out for this sign: their other relationships are troubled, and their behavior in those relationships are somewhat anti-social.
There’s frequent or at least a significant amount of:
There’s little to no real emotional balance, and any emotional balance is faked or staged.
This sign can also present in an alternative way…
It’s possible that the karmic partner(s) display emotional empathy, wisdom, and intelligence for others but not within their karmic relationship.
Essentially, one set of rules applies to their close friend and family bonds, yet another set applies to their karmic lover. There’s a lack of respect and harmony as well.
Frequent alcohol consumption, addictions, and drug use may be common. Lust and hypersexuality replaces deeper intimacy and love-making too.
Case study: Discover how the introverted Alena got her man to ask her out almost instantly and for the very first time in her life, she started attracting highly esteemed men & making real progress in overcoming her own anxious attachment patterns... All by using this dark feminine art of banter.
Because we are speaking of a karmic relationship, you need to know that all karmics have quite an immature outlook on love and life in general.
Wounds have been mentioned, as have selfish and narcissistic traits. Yet there could also be an unrealistic sense of idealism or fairytale love.
This is not to be confused with divine soul union or twin flame love, which are real!
Fairytale love is taking society’s man-made concept of love, with one’s unhealed wounds and unresolved traumas intact, and then believing true love is achievable.
True love is not built from toxic traits, trauma-bonding, codependency or addiction and lust. Sorry.
Holistically speaking, people in a karmic relationship have one or more immature toxic traits left to heal and transcend.
Another classic sign of being in a karmic relationship is that there is a lack of higher self awareness, or spiritual connection.
Because karmic lovers tend to be so focused on the material and superficial world, they miss out on deeper emotional connection and soul union.
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Simply put, in a karmic relationship, there’s a lack of:
Karmic soulmates are very concerned with:
This is all just something to keep in mind, as healing your impulses towards the above things can help you overcome your karmic love bond.
Overall, it’s important to focus on true empathy and emotional connection rather than the base level impulses and desires in life.
This doesn’t mean you have to give up on the search for money, but you cannot let it consume you, as you’ll lose connection to all the important spiritual elements in life.
Ultimately, are material possessions and status worth much in the face of your inevitable death?
Perhaps when facing death, what becomes important is our level of emotional connection and vulnerability to someone as well as the memories we build with them.
This is admittedly hard with a huge online dating culture which is naturally superficial!
Honestly, online dating is a bit of a cesspool and full of lower vibrational people who are not willing to do the work. But there definitely are also higher vibrational people online whom you can find and connect with.
If you are dating online, then you have to be particularly mindful of not falling into toxic traps or accepting karmic connections that simply take you backwards.
You should always look to consciously and quickly eliminate the partners who will bring you downwards into lower vibrations and into narcissistic relationship cycles.
If you want to learn how to do that, you can use the dark feminine art of high value banter to weed out the wrong types of men…
(...Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you've encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
Don’t know what the dark feminine art of “High Value Banter” is? CLICK to find out.
In karmic relationships, drama, addiction, and miscommunication are very common, so watch out for these characteristics. There’s not much peace or genuine harmonious and blissful interaction.
Good vibrations may be presented in a social facade or in extroverted acts, yet the actual relationship is not built on a solid foundation or on a good vibe.
Quite simply, due to a lack of empathy and real, solid trust and emotional connection, these relationships are often on the verge of entering the next cycle of darkness.
There are likely aspects of a superficial or shallow relationship as well, such as choosing the karmic partner because they make the perfect “trophy girl/boyfriend.”
Also, there’s often a toxic current running through the relationship due to one or both partners making decisions for the relationship based on other people’s opinions, or society’s pressures.
It’s not sincere, and drama and addiction often go overlooked for the purpose of fulfilling some image of being “the perfect couple”.
Have you ever noticed that usually, the happiest couples usually are the least likely to regularly advertise their perfect relationship on social media?
Finally, right from the start and all throughout the karmic love bond, there will be many red flags. But the tricky part is that you will want to purposefully ignore them.
This is because you’re so addicted to the chemistry and intense attraction you feel that the addiction overpowers reality.
Due to pushing real issues under the carpet and living in denial, you’ll just think that the issues will go away.
They don’t go away, however. They actually foster and grow until the relationship becomes unbearable, abusive even.
So what red flags will there be?
Well, psychological and emotional abuse is common in a karmic relationship. This abuse tends to encompass:
Fortunately, you can heal and move beyond the toxic pattern as well as overcome your addiction to the relationship.
A karmic relationship is a love bond formed from intense sexual chemistry and attraction, yet also with a lot of drama, unhealed trauma, and toxic attributes.
Both partners feel a magnetic and electric pull towards one another, however it is not a true love connection.
A karmic partner is someone you choose to journey with throughout many years, or an entire lifetime.
A karmic partner often leads to finding your twin flame or higher level soulmate love.
You may have children with and marry your karmic lover, or you may only be in each other’s lives in your youth.
As the name implies, karmic energy is an energy.
It is a set or series of qualities, vibrations, characteristics, and exchanges built off of a karmic bond.
Karmic energy always involves karmic cycles; the repeated patterns of emotions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that circulate around, keeping you “stuck” in a cycle that either demands you grow beyond it, or keeps you chained to the drama of a karmic relationship.
Understanding what a true love or twin flame relationship is is a good first step! This enables you to have something to aspire to and work towards.
Healing your wounds, discovering your attachment style, and receiving therapy is the second thing you might want to do. Any type of spiritual and holistic therapy or activity is also good.
A karmic relationship cannot exist when you have healed and harmonized your mind, body, & spirit.
You can do a lot of healing by yourself just by working through, journaling and emotionally processing old traumas.
Deeper therapies and pathways to the soul and self are also an option, like visiting a Hypnotherapist, Past Life therapist, Reiki Master Teacher, Karmic Contract healer or energy worker, and someone who specializes in karmic & wounds clearing.
All the best in your own unique journey!
Grace Gabriella Puskas is a passionate Reiki Master, Astrologer, Dream therapist/interpretor, Holistic Healer, and Herbalist. She is also a visionary poet and published author, who enjoys gardening, caring for others, healing the earth, and creating educational & spiritual videos on Youtube.
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